best friend

im afraid to lose a friend...but eversince i decided to go overseas to continue my studies, i was quite prepared tht i WILL lose my childhood friend...not everyone of them, but some maybe...especially those in my home country..
yeah...i've lost my very first best friend...i had never had a best friend before, she was the first...today's her birthday...it reminds me of her...
In the 1st year i went overseas, we're still in contact, but didnt often sms her.2nd year, i was losing contact with her, 3rd year, almost no contact at all, and she got an accident. terrific accident. i was in shock and tht brought me to meet her again.tht time, i really realised tht there's nothing to tok between us anymore.i didnt feel like as if im her "best" friend. she was different, yeah, tht's wad i felt.from tht day onwards, till now, i have no contact with her. Even on my birthday, i didnt receive any greeting from her.flashing back 2or3 years ago, she was always b the first to greet me and wish me happy birthday...
i was expecting her to sms me, or even just a small comment on my FS, but, nothing, NONE...!i sent my birthday wishes to her just now, im looking forward for her reply.she was my best friend, we were really gud, i have never wanted to replace tht "best-friend" position to anyone else...but until 5th july 2004, tht was the day i met my very best friend, never thought tht she's having tht position in me now...days after then, i made more best friends, and tht was the time where i really knew wad best friends are...till now, 5of them r still my very best friends, though we're far apart but still i keep them close to my heart...
*feelingsadoflosingabestfriend*
*ithurts*